Robyn had a baby three months ago. She’s settling into mommy mode quite nicely and enjoying her new baby. But she’s not looking forward to having sex again. In fact, she’s dreading it! Her doctor gave her the greenlight six weeks after she gave birth but she’s just not feeling it. She doesn’t want it to affect her relationship with her hubby who has been so understanding.
Lots of women experience a dip in their post-partum sex life. It doesn’t always snap back to what it previously once was and may take a while. There may be a number of reasons why you could be battling to get your sexy back. Firstly, you may not be ready because your body is probably still healing. Your c-section or episiotomy wounds are healing, and your hormones are all over the place. Not to mention, that you are most likely exhausted and very overwhelmed because you have to take care of a new baby.
We look at 5 useful tips to help you ease back into sex after giving birth.
Your partner may be ready to have sex, but you’re not! Tell him how you are feeling – it could be that you are still feeling sore, your breasts are tender and leaky or you need more time. He might also feel rejected and that all your attention is focused on the baby now and not him. By being honest and sharing your concerns together, you are keeping the channels of communication open.
Start off by fostering closeness by kissing, cuddling, hugging or spending time together. Schedule a date night, go for a walk or watch a movie together – these are little ways to help encourage intimacy again.
It’s important to remember that sex doesn’t always need to be full penetration but simply touching and speaking to each other can help you to feel close to each other again. Use lots of foreplay and just enjoy each other until you feel you are ready to have sex again.
So, the big moment has arrived. Make sure that you are ready to have sex and not putting yourself under pressure. Try not to start off with a vigorous session but take it gently and slowly with a position that is comfortable for you and your body. If you don’t enjoy it and are still feeling sensitive, try again another time. Trust that it will get better!
Cut yourself some slack and remember that your body has been through a lot. Be kind to yourself! Eat healthy, well balanced meals and drink plenty of fluids. Mostly, try to get as much rest as you can because you will feel exhausted and lack energy from looking after your little one.
Believe and continue to reassure yourself that your sex life will return back to normal again. And, of course once you find your rhythm as a mommy, you’ll be more relaxed and calm, and the sex goddess in YOU will be waiting to emerge!